Talent Sets the Floor, Character Sets the Ceiling....

I went to take a nap between appointments. The next session was going to be a training session with a therapist who was having misgivings about working this session, which was going to be a training session, feeling she didn't need to go through any training sessions. The session required the use of hot towels and stones, even though she has never really been properly trained to use such tools.

While I slept I dreamed I was doing several massages. Then an Asian woman came in (who I now recognize might be this therapist, though I didn't note that in my dream). I began to massage her, slowly working to stretch and loosen her body. While I was doing this, she lay there as though she was in a deep sleep. Without thinking much about it, I began to float towards the ceiling, holding onto  her while I continued to stretch and massage her. I was feeling quite light and almost ethereal, while she in turn felt like dead weight. I didn't mind though and just continued to work on her. She lay in my arms and seemed like she was going to move with me, but just as I got to the ceiling, and my thought was to just pass right through it, I realized her right foot was literally clinging to the table below us. That was when I noticed her body was now stretched all out of proportion. I floated back down, and still holding her, I laid her back onto the table as gently as I could. I then tried to arrange her body back onto the table in a more normal position. When I got to moving her neck and head around, that was when I realized her neck was actually broken. Up to that point I never actually checked her neck and realized that she had already been like that before I even began working on her. I rested my hands behind her neck to give her better support, but knew there was nothing I could really do to help her. I could tell she was still alive and conscious, but she was still completely 'asleep' to everything that had just happened. I woke right as I was telling her that I was sorry, I really tried, but there was nothing I could to do to help her.

When I actually woke up and checked my phone, I saw a message from the therapist I was expecting to meet with for the training, saying she was quitting.

The Burning

It was night and I was watching a man with dark long hair and facial hair tending a large bonfire. Every now and then he would go inside the house nearby and come out with something and place it into the bonfire.

It was then I began to realize what was happening. That I was observing him in an unemotional disembodied fashion.

I began to recall, as I watched him, that this man had slowly isolated me, when I was still in a body, from everyone we knew, professing his undying love for me. I could sense that I was young through all of this. That forced isolation made it so no one even knew of me at all, let alone would miss me now that I was dead. In this isolation, he got what he wanted. He got me all to himself. His obsession with love for me was so suffocating that he eventually actually did literally suffocated the life out of me. Once he had done that, he knew he needed to hide the evidence of his crime. That is when he, bit by bit, took pieces of my flesh from my body and went outside to burn them. He did this in almost a ritualistic fashion which lasted throughout the evening, starting with my heart and finishing with my head. He was very careful to make sure that all the bones were pulled back out. He then pulverized them and put then in a bag. He then cleaned up the house and put out the fire, being very careful and meticulous to not leave any trace of what he had done behind him.

I recall that a few neighbors did look out the window nearby to wonder what he was doing and sensed they could feel that something wasn't right, but nobody acted upon that.

When he had completed the disposal of my body, he picked up the bag that held all that remained....the pulverized bones. He then walked out into the woods and slowly began to scatter their dust into the wind.

Waist DisPosal

4.19.17

I came home to find my husband helping a Hispanic man remove our garbage disposal in our downstairs kitchen (...as if we had an upstairs and downstairs kitchen? ...or even a two story house?) The man's family was standing aside watching them do this. I remember one of the man's daughter's was in a bright blue dress and had a very strange fish like mouth with super red lipstick on her lips. Not only were they removing the disposal from underneath the sink, they were literally destroying the cabinets around it. They finished taking it out by using a hacksaw to cut the pipes above...completely making the whole sink unusable. I immediately also knew that to fix it, it would now also require complete replacement of most of it.

Freaking out, I was livid with my husband for allowing them to do this to our sink. He explained to me that he was just trying to help them because they didn't have a garbage disposal, whereas we had another one upstairs in the other kitchen. I told him that that was a really shortsighted and stupid thing to do....that if he really felt the need to help them, instead of totally destroying OUR kitchen sink, making it now unusable AND costing us even more to fix...he should have just gone to the store and bought them a new one for them.

I them found myself running from covert operatives that were trying to kill me. I perceived myself to be a man and found myself inside a large warehouse style grocery store. While in the store the covert operatives let everyone in the store know they were looking for me. I had a device on me that could control things remotely. One of things it did was like an EMP sort of thing. I used it to shutdown the lights, cameras and music in the store....and then hid as best as I could. I was thinking of how best to get out of there when I realized that one of the operatives was in the next isle from me. I  knew I needed to be preemptive instead of the other way around and sneaked up behind him. He was a very muscular and stout guy and it took all my ability to pin him down. With my machine, I somehow managed to send out sounds throughout the store of different people's voices...to throw the others off as to where we were. I also used this device to talk to him as I somehow managed to tie his arms down before taking off and finding another hiding spot.

I knew what I did would not hold him long, so I quickly crawled into one of the refrigerators that opened in the back to the warehouse side of the store. As I crawled through into the store room behind, I saw a number of employees crouched and hiding in fright. I shhh'd them and changed myself back to a woman (I guess it had something to do with the device I had making me 'look' like a man?). For some reason, upon seeing me, they immediately trusted me and wanted to help me. I asked them where I could hide. One of the guys said he was the cake maker and that I could hide under the cake cart. This cart had cakes on top, ready to be boxed, with a tablecloth over it that would keep me from being seen. I crawled under it like he said. Just as I did so, one of the covert agents came into the room. I could only see his shadow through a crack in the cloth, but I could tell he was VERY tall and thin. He asked the employees if they had seen anything or anyone come back there. They all said no. As he left, he said the power would be back on soon and they would do a deeper search then. The cake man then came up to the cart I was hiding in. Just then the lights came on. I asked him how I could get out of the building without being seen. He said he could move the cart to the where the boxes for the cakes were, which was right next to the back door. It was a normal procedure, so it shouldn't raise suspicion, if any of them see him do it. He then moved the cart to the back door, just as the covert agents came back in. They proceeded to search the other side of the room as I sneaked out the back side of the cart and exited the back door. When I exited I realized that I was up on the second story and it was a big drop to get down and away. I woke up at this point...

eStrange

I dreamed about Julian Assange last night. He was laying under a thick cover in a bed of grass and was locked out of the building we were trying to get him into for safety. I asked wouldn't it better and safer if he at least went into the back yard instead of staying in the front yard? He said he had nothing to hide and it was too late now anyway. So, I decided to at least lay down beside him and keep him some company. When I did he grabbed my hand and with fervent intensity he begged and pleaded with me to help his daughter. He wasn't frightened at all for himself but he was scared what they might do to his children, especially his youngest daughter. He kept saying 'please help my daughter.'

I then dreamed I was inside my home and unpacking, like I was still just moving in. To my chagrin, my husband had invited friends over for a party, without asking me, so I began hurrying around trying to make the place appear to be somewhat presentable. To my surprise David Bowie showed up. somehow he ended up in the back of the house with me and I told him how I used to be a big fan of his when I was younger. He was acting very charming and amorous and this seemed to give a cue that it was okay to start hitting on me. I tried to tell him that though I would like to know him, I was a married woman. That didn't seem to deter him. He grabbed my hand and started kissing and sucking on my fingers, which actually grossed me out. I pulled my hand away and more emphatically told him that I wasn't interested in him like that. He genuinely seemed surprised and confused by that...like he really thought he could seduce anyone get what he wanted. I restated that I had no problem getting to know him better but I wasn't interested in him like that. I then grabbed a bunch of clear plastic bowls and continued to try and tidy up the place.

I then recall dreaming that I was driving at night, out in the middle of nowhere. There was no street lights and it was a moonless night - very pitch black and dark. My husband was in the passenger seat and my mother was in the back seat asleep. Suddenly the lights went out on the car. Though I was able to still drive it, I couldn't see where I was going. Just as I was beginning to slow down, the lights came back on. Feeling it was okay after all, I started to speed up again. Then the lights went out again and would not come back on. I slowed downed quickly and tried to pull over to the side of the road. It was so dark I could hardly see where the edge of the road was. Tom woke up and we both began to look for an exit. Since it was so dark and we had no lights, we though if we found a safe place to sleep until morning, we could then continue to where we could get the car looked at and fixed. We found an exit and pulled off, but when we started going down that road, it was like going down a back alley full of trash. We were worried that this area was not safe at all, so we retreated back onto the road. We thought about just staying pulled over on the road. So we did. After sitting there for a bit, with a few cars driving by us, my husband tried to look under the hood to see if he could figure out why our lights wouldn't work. While he did that, I crawled back into the car, which I actually found harder to do, because the car seemed to have flattened out. He then came back around and said it was too dark to really see and we needed to keep going to the next exit to get off the road. We both felt it wasn't very safe where we were at. I started the car, tried the lights again, just in case, no luck, and then I very slowly drove in the slow lane to the next exit...then I woke up...

I R Reversible

09.01.16
 

I dream that there was I was with Sweetie, my cat, and I walking with her. I came to this office building. I knew is going to have trouble with them letting me have her in there, so I told them that I was visiting somebody, and I'll just be a moment. When they let me in, and I was still with her, she somehow ended up turning into more than one cat. She was just still the same cat but like she was broken down by her colors. I specifically remember her turning into one black cat and one white cat, but there seem to be more of her as well.

Once it was in this building, it also seemed I was on a second floor. To get back out, I couldn't seem to get down any other way than over a railing. I knew somehow that that would be the only way I could get out of where I was. So I let Sweetie go. She jumped out of my arms and took off. I started to crawl over the railing and realize it was going to be a really long dive to get to the ground. I looked around and was trying to figure out how I was going to do it when all the sudden all of these different animals showed up. It was all kinds, like raccoons, rabbits, horses...and all different kinds of animals. It was like they knew I was in need of help and were there to try and help me. I looked down and to see one animal right under the balcony where I was at. It stood there like it knew I needed help and to use his back to get on down to the ground. I think it was a big one of those giant pigs, but I'm not too sure what kind of animal it was now. I jumped down and landed on its back.

I then found myself trying to catch a train...kind of 'deadheading'... like I used to when I worked on the train. I remember getting on the train and I again had my cat, Sweetie, with me as well as some luggage. I was trying to find a place to sit on the train which where I could be alone by myself because where I boarded the train ended being very crowded. I also didn't want them to see my cat. I knew they had issues about having animals with you, so I was trying to make it so she would not be noticeable. I started walking through the train and looking for a place to have her with me that wasn't so crowded. It was at that moment I could sense I was dreaming because I realized the train's sounds and set up was not like a normal train. It was like, in my mind, I knew things were not like they were supposed to be, and I was trying to make the dream change to what I knew it was supposed to be like.  As I walked through this dream train I went through one car that was somewhat empty and I realized it had had animals in. I then realized I was wearing socks, when I knew it wasn't supposed to be wearing socks walking about on a train. I found myself stepping over different areas that appeared dirty...trying not to step on what I realized was where animals had defecated. At this point I realized my husband was following behind me, because I found myself telling him to be careful where he walked as well.

When we got to the next car it ended up looking like a shopping center. Befuddled, I was like, "What is this doing in a train? This isn't supposed to be in the train!" I kept walking through the store, looking at the displays. To the left hand side I found myself attracted to this display of books. There was this black lady there and she was selling used books and an assortment of different novelty items. I picked up one book that looked interesting. It was all about apple cider vinegar, how it helps with health conditions and how you can use it in recipes for cooking. When the woman tried to sell me the book, I told her I already knew about all that I didn't think I needed such a book.

I then continued on into the next car, still looking for a place for me to sit that where I could also be by myself. I continued through what appeared to be sleeper cars. I was still struggling in my mind to try and to conform this dream to what I expected the train to look like and still knew it wasn't the way it was supposed to be. I went through several more cars and they just weren't what I was looking for.

I ended up in what I knew was the last car, still not finding what I was looking for. This car was kind of creepy and it had red bloody cavernous looking walls. On the floor was what appeared to be like a big puddles of dark fluid, possibly even blood. It reminded me of walking in the tunnel in the movie 'Irreversible.' I heading down the tunnel, getting creeped out more and more with each step, but not sure where else I should go. At the end of this car/tunnel, there was no door to another car after that. Instead there was a second tunnel off to the right. I kind of knew then that it was not where I was supposed to be going, nor was I on a train anymore. But with curiosity I looked down that tunnel and I could see at the end of that tunnel there were two more directions to go. I headed a bit to see better. The direction headed to the left looked very dark and was deathly silent and the one to the right had the look of fire coming from it, kind of furnace. I got really creeped out at this point. I didn't want o continue in either direction. The whole thing had a very sinister feeling and I could tell that both tunnels were on a declining descent. Just as I was looking at to the right, with this fiery furnac,e I started seeing what look like Devil's horns. At that point I was like, "NO! I'm not going that way! I'm going to go back!" But as I tried to turn around and go back it was very very difficult for me to make my way back up the direction I had come on my own. I knew I would be very hard, if not impossible, for me to get back. It was at that point I started crying and praying in Jesus name to help me get back where I need to be. I was still calling out in Jesus's name when I awoke.

Emergency

 08.30.16

This time I was aware I was dreaming that I was dreaming a dream. It is difficult to explain, but I felt like I was one (and was aware there were others) who had been injected into the dream I was knew I was having. I was looking for these others, but none of the people I ran into were responsive. Trying to interact with them was like wandering in some sort of virtual reality with no real substance. I also got the sense that I was being the eyes for others who were observing through me. A consciousness injected into some sort of avatar body that I knew wasn't really there.

I felt I was one, of several, who were attempting to salvage a situation I sensed had gone very wrong. I was trying to find someone to help me, but no one was responding to my attempts to get them to listen. I was also searching for the way back out of the situation I had been interjected into. 

I found myself in a great hall with a number of people. There was like a great dance and banquet in progress. I wandered away from the crowd and in one of the great hallways, that wasn't so full of people, I found a portrait of man I knew was significant. I knew it was a portrait of one of the people I was looking for, but it was from a very different time. In the portrait he was wearing armor and looked like a knight or a king. I slipped the portrait off the wall and knew I needed to keep the painting safe. To be sure no one could find it, or see what I had done, I hid it under a bunch of golden leaves in an unused room. I left the room and continued to seek someone who would be responsive to my inquiries. I knew that a responsive person would mean it was someone like me. I couldn't find anyone though that was 'real'...they all just seemed like mirages when I got close to them. In frustration I went back to look for the portrait, but the place was like a maze and I could no longer find the painting.

I then found myself inside a large truck and I pulled up in front of a house that felt like it was supposed to be my home. My purpose was still the same, only trying to find anyone to help me at my home. I then got out of the truck and approached the house. No one appeared to be there. As I went inside, I heard the engine stall on the truck and sputter to a stop. I panicked, knowing that the truck needed to stay running. Otherwise, I knew I would be trapped and unable to go anywhere. Without even getting a chance to look inside the house, I ran back to try and restart the truck.

As I ran up to the truck, I noticed for the first time, a huge tree trunk in the back of the truck. It was at least 6 feet in diameter. I immediately knew this was the tree that had produced the leaves I had used earlier to hide the portrait I had lost. I then noticed a fire truck had pulled up along side the truck and a fireman was now inside the driver's seat, working to get it started.

This befuddled me for a moment. I began to doubt if this truck was really the one I was supposed to be driving.

I walked up to the fireman and asked him what he was doing, not really expecting to get a response, in the same manner as everyone else I approached never responded. To my surprise he turned to me and emphatically stated that he saw what was happening and it was his job to help in emergencies. He realized how imperative it was to help me get the truck restarted and so that the load I was hauling got to where it needed to go. I told him that the tree in the back had already been cut down and was dead now. He replied that that didn't matter. He started the truck and pulled me back into it.

I then found myself dragging my unconscious husband into an emergency room. I knew he was dying and there wasn't much time to try and save him. Again nobody responded to my attempts to get help. In frustration I dragged his limp body onto a gurney and started CPR. Nothing. I knew that his heart had stopped and he needed surgery. My cries for help still got no one to respond. I felt that if I didn't do the what was needed, no one else would, and he would be lost forever.

I pulled out a plastic blanket and then ripped off my husband's clothes to prepare him for surgery ... trying to keep him covered as I also tried to keep doing CPR and prepare the surgical equipment ... all by myself!

Finally a woman behind me said something. She said, "He's not covered up."

I turned and saw a blond woman standing by the emergency exit. I saw that, in my focus to get his chest covered, I had failed to cover the lower half of his now exposed body. I yanked the blanket over the rest of him, and pissed off, I yelled at her to help me then. But she was no longer paying me any heed. It was like she was back in some sort of trance.

I looked around and realized, in that moment, that she and my husband were the only other 'real' people there...and both of them were beyond my reach. Even so, my husband, the only one that I had hope of saving was slipping away from me...

My husband then walked into the bedroom and 'woke' me up...

Figures

7.22.16

I was with my mother before she had her stroke. I too was younger. She was attempting to drive her car, the Nissan that later was totaled, but was having trouble controlling it and seeing out the window enough to know where to go. I then sat on the hood of the car to help her navigate, looking much like a hood ornament or figurehead on a ship.

I then saw a police car far off driving towards us and grew worried he would stop and arrest me for doing this, so I had her pull the car over and crawled into the passenger seat. It was then I could see where a lot of her problems were coming from. She couldn't see because her seat kept moving around and she was having problems using the clutch and getting the key to turn in the ignition. Once she felt she got her seat secure, she couldn't get the key to restart the car.

After several attempts, I told her to switch seats with me and let me try. I sat down in her seat and realized she still didn't have it secured. I looked closely at it and realized it was not only loose going forward and back, but also sideways. I re-centered the seat and found the button to lock it into place to keep it from going sideways, but it took a bit more work to find the lever to secure it from moving backwards and forwards. I then turned on the windshield wipers and worked on getting the windows cleaned enough to see out of.

Getting the car started took a bit of work, but I finally got the key to turn and start the car again. From there I slowly accelerated, but the clutch wouldn't stay in gear, causing the car to drift, no matter how hard I tried to engage it. The back wheels locked on me and the car began a slow backwards spin, like we were on ice, moving from the curb and on down a sidewalk. This is when I realized the break wasn't working either! At this point I began to panic as I started pumping the breaks. The car finally stopped just before we hit the building.

I then found myself driving the car to where we used to have the family flower shop. We knew the flower shop was gone for good, but we had plans to try and turn the space into something useful for us. My husband had joined us, and mom and I are more like we are now. I was talking about turning the space into a gallery, health center or theater space of some sort. When we got there, we found that the space had already been taken over by others and no longer available to us for use. I asked the people there if I could just come in for a moment to look at the space, telling them what we used to have there. I saw they weren't doing much with it, that it was just being used for some storage and not even much for that. I felt it was such a waste but that it was time to move on.

As we were leaving the man there told me he had something we had left behind he needed to return to me. He handed me a small palm sized clear plastic box with a flip top lid. Inside it was what looked like dark a gray rock (matrix) with a tan crystallized substance growing out of it. Within the crystal were tiny little black watery beads. I opened the lid and touched the crystal. I immediately realized it was alive. With my touch, the crystalline particles and the black substance (which I can only equate to blood) came off on my fingers. It tingled as it absorbed into my skin. The stone in the box grew more crystals from my touch, replacing the portion that had come off onto my finger. I looked at the man inquisitively and asked him if he knew what this was.

At this point, I became lucid that I was dreaming, and recalled a part of me (outside of the dream) telling myself to pay close attention to what the man tells me next. My husband became impatient with me and wanted to leave, but I told him this was important and to just go on without me, that I would catch up with him in a bit.

The man then told me that is was life itself, a living stone, and that it was comprised of a very specific formation of elements that were arranged according to my essence. I asked what elements. He told me that to create this form of living rock, I needed two kinds of a certain solid element (stone?), 5 samples of each, 2 other kinds of earth based elements (not soil per say...but matter formed from the earth that wasn't stone?), 2 samples of each, and then 1 sample of an elusive element that is like air but he could not tell how to find it...that I could only find that on my own...because it is only connected to me.

I think there was more, but I don't recall...

But I do recall it being sort of sketched out for me and it looked like an odd combo of a chemistry drawing breakdown and a weird tree of life.

                  1
                /    \
              2      2
           (1.1) (1.1)
          /                \
        5                  5
(1.1.1.1.1)    (1.1.1.1.1)