Role Rehearsal

2.14.14

I was a young woman, slim (much more so than I was ever in this life) in my late teens/early 20's, with straight brown hair that was cut in a 'bob' just past my shoulders. It seemed that I had a disability to where I was weak in the left side of my body. It seemed it also affected my speech. I am not sure if I was born this way, had a stroke, or was in some sort of accident - but there was a sense that I was getting better and stronger by the day.

The dream was like watching a day in 'my' life and this one was an important day of asserting my independence.

My mother now was my care giver in this dream. She looked like she was still in her 20's or maybe early 30's. She was much heavier than I was in this dream though. Interestingly, even with the differences, I can not help but note that there is much similarity to how I am in this dream to how my mother is now...and visus versus. In this dream though, I got a sense that she was related but more like a sister than a mother to me. It was just her and me in our household. I watched as an observer as we went though the day. I took care of myself pretty much, dressing, bathing, eating, etc...but she was there to assist me when I needed.

What I noticed though was like this was in the future. A lot of the things in the home looked familiar to how homes are now, but there were big differences as well. It reminded me of how things from the past can still be seen and used today, but at the same time there are many things that you would never have seen 50 years ago.

Some of these differences may have been adaptions for my 'handicap' - but I am not sure on that. For example, there was no light fixtures or switches. The room seemed to adjust to these things by itself when you walked in. There was no stand alone refrigerator either. Instead, the refrigeration of food was kept inside the wall, between the counter top and the top shelf area. There was actually a covered recessed area in the wall next to the counter top that stored appliances and the cold storage was recessed in the wall above this and below the upper cabinets. The storage areas ran the whole length of the counter and were divided into sections, so that different things could be stored in different sections. When everything was closed and put away, these storage areas were completely hidden behind the wall and opened with just a very light touch to them. In my dream I remember pulling out a plate of food from one of the cold storage areas, putting it on the table, and then going back to a different cold storage section to get some fruit. Not sure, but I don't recall seeing anything to cook food with in this kitchen area. Everything I ate came out of these hidden refrigeration units.

I then remember seeing us going to a 'car' lot to test drive a vehicle. The vehicle I was looking at was a light jade green  color with a white interior. Again, I can not say if the vehicle I was trying out was an adaptation for my 'handicap' but it was not like any car we see now. It was a single person pod shaped vehicle that did not have a steering wheel. Instead the vehicle responded to micro movement from the body with controls also where the hands and feet rest. The interior seat and sides were cushioned with what I would consider to be air bags. When inside, it encased (almost cushioning) the person. There was no door as we think of it either. Instead it was a rounded roof like window that raised up with a light touch of the hand. There didn't seem to be any motor either. If there was, it was hidden under the seat. If fact, it almost seemed that the vehicle may have been powered by my very presence and energy field. There was also no dashboard. The glass window/hood became that when the vehicle was started. It came to life as soon as I sat down into it. There wasn't any noticeable wheels either. I can't say if the vehicle hovered, but it did 'glide.' The vehicle also only required a touch to lock and unlock it.

The main thing we were looking for in this vehicle was to see if I had enough coordination and strength in my muscular reflexes on the left side for the car to 'read'. With determination and excitement, I proved that I did. We decided we liked this vehicle and were going to go ahead and get it for me.

I next remember seeing us back at home later that day. I had over heard my mother (again...she obviously wasn't that in this dream) in the kitchen. She was making sounds that worried me, so I quietly peeked in to see what she was doing. I spied her heavily crying as she pulled out a big plate of food. She then started to gorge herself with the food, as she continued to cry. I felt helpless to comfort her and also terribly sad for her. It was a feeling of seeing her do this yet again to herself...this eating herself to death. I could feel a lifetime of intense stress and worry hovering over her that she couldn't shake. I knew she was doing this becasue she felt I was going to leave her now and she didn't want to loose me.

The Space In Between

2.4.14

I was hanging out in the bathroom with the tub filling with water for a bath, when suddenly I became distracted with concern that 'others' were soon going to be making their way into my home. I went around the home making sure it was secure when I suddenly remember that I had left the bath water running. By then I saw that the water was beginning to rise very quickly on the floor of the house. I ran into the bathroom. Once there I saw the water had risen to where it was almost to the electrical outlets. I quickly shut the water off and pulled the drain plugs (two of them) and began thinking of how to clean up the water mess.

But before I could do that a male family member came in and told me that 'they' were coming and we needed to hide quickly. We went into my bedroom. In my closest there was a panel in the ceiling, undetectable unless pushed on a certain way, that went up into a secret room. This secret room was like a secret half floor between floors of an apartment style building. We crawled up into the area and pulled the panel back into place. The half floor that we were now in was in itself a complete living enclosure as well. We made our way across the floor to the other side and found another panel. We opened this panel, sent a wooden ladder down, and crawled back down. We then made our way out down a hallway, to a spiral staircase that took us to the ground floor to exit the building.

We almost made it out of the building but were stopped by another friend with over a dozen 'refugees' behind him. Out friend begged us to help him and this group of people, saying 'they' were coming for them and they would all die if we didn't. Somehow I noticed this group of people were what were classified as 'outcast/non white/non aryan' types of people, including one young black man, of which I felt a bit surprised to see.

I couldn't let them die. I heard outside a ruckus, so I quickly herded the group of people back the way we had come. One by one, we shoved each of them into the secret half floor room. One was a mother with a newborn. I remember thinking the baby best not cry or it will be the downfall of us all. I told them, one by one, to be VERY, VERY quiet. My friend and I did not have time to make it up there with them. So, we covered the entrance and wished for the best, with a sinking feeling in our stomachs.

I woke feeling like I had just returned from Nazi Germany.